Before you marry, her fitness as a wife must be appraised.
Table of Contents
Failure to coldly assess the female you are considering for marriage is a recipe for potential disappointment at best and at worst a horrific crash with devastating emotional, financial, physical and child rearing consequences.
Disentangling from marriage to the wrong woman can destroy your wealth, your power, your position, your property and decimate the psychological health of your children. It can tear away your reputation, your freedom and your relationships with your own family.
It is an avoidable situation.
Falling in love and succumbing to its mystifying and amazing allure of romance and lust, laughter and companionship is a heady brew. Like all heady brews, it easily intoxicates and has the potential to bring you to stumbling incoherence, abandoned inhibitions and poor judgment.
The Dark Triad Man views marriage as a powerful and fundamental asset.
It is an integral pillar supporting a life of joy, success and achievement.
When you have a candidate for wife in mind you must apply these reviews to her character, personality, history, genetics and capacities in order to ensure one of the most crucial aspects of a successful and permanent pair bond: compatibility.
The compatibility of your future spouse with you is an essential thing to determine.
Far too often a young man is blinded by lust, social pressure, fear of loss or other nonessential considerations. The result is frequently what are called “starter marriages” in an attempt to brush away the negative impact, lost time, and potential damage to children that typically ensues when short, inappropriate marital contracts are made quickly and preceded by frivolous and intoxicated assessments.
The Dark Triad Man does not enter into a lifetime contract capriciously or thoughtlessly.
He deploys a ruthless Machiavellian mindset of utilitarian assessment to determine the relative value of his potential partner and adopts boundaries and employs decisions according to his lifetime plans. In this way he determines if her utility is sufficiently present.
He detaches with psychopathic coldness and calculates her wife value without emotion, without lust, without the clinging desire and attachment that form the basis of early relationships. In this way he perceives with clear and unclouded mind.
He adopts the posture of the narcissist and thereby demands of his wife a higher standard, a measure based on the vision of a future self of vast achievement and successful power. In this way he ensures the continued compatibility of her presence.
The social market value of a woman changes over time.
The Dark Triad Man recognizes this evolution of female value and does not adhere to false illusions of eternal beauty and all forgiving love.
The reality of the dark world is quite different. Men and women change. Both are human beings. Both are subject to the cardinal defects of human character and due to their fallen nature they commit mistakes and degradations and errors of both conscience and conduct.
The development of a resilient lifetime pair bond that transcends the risks and realities of the dark world depends heavily upon correct initial assessments.
I will show you where to apply them and what considerations to take into account.
Before you read further you must consider whether you are willing to coldly calculate her wife value. Detaching from your soaring emotions may scare you with the potential finding that she is not suitable.
You may be head over heels with mingled adoration and lust, unable to pause your wallowing in emotional and organic chemical pleasure. This is called enthrallment, a capturing of the mind and heart and body of a man in such a way that he loses clear vision, impartial judgment and intelligent action.
Enthrallment is pleasurable.
It is not reality.
The dark world does not reward enthrallment, or decisions made from behind its alluring and intoxicating veil.
Enthrallment is a tool of the Dark Triad Man and he is acutely perceptive to its presence in himself. You must learn to penetrate the veil of illusion and enthrallment with cold detachment, utter utility and dominant vision.
Let us leave enthrallment behind, and begin.
The genetic disposition of her beauty over time.
Feminine beauty is transient but nonetheless the defining attribute of the sex and the most complicated and detailed aspect of wife value to calculate.
There are many different kinds of physical feminine beauty. The purpose of this beauty is to attract a mate. It is not designed to retain a mate, for our evolved biology does not require it nor did our ancestors usually survive long enough to see feminine beauty reach the typical modern denouement of spreading hips, thickened waist, bulging of jowls and drooping of breasts that accompany unattended aging in the female.
Feminine beauty may be sexually provocative, with large eyes and pouting lips paired by luxurious hair and weight distributed across her frame in a pleasing and voluptuous manner, driving a fierce desire for ferocious and lustful penetration of her.
It may be breathtaking beauty of classic lines, with a bone structure that awes with symmetry and graceful proportion, instilling amazed fascination at its remarkably stunning appearance.
It may be a glow of youth and health with clear lovely skin, glossy hair and a brilliant smile that overrides issues of stature or proportion, of bone structure or symmetry, pulling you in with gradually increasing appreciation.
Beauty fades. But it fades on easily determinable lines.
How do you make this determination?
How do you coldly assess the future wife value of a woman where her beauty is concerned?
The answer is simple.
You are judging an animal similar to a horse.
(You can send me hate mail here.)
Assess the following points in order to determine the evolving changes that time will bring to her sexual attractiveness and appearance, so that you are not surprised in fifteen years with a nag of unexpectedly broken-down appearance:
Frame: Bone structure is the single most important determination of future beauty.
Youth deliberately deposits surface tissue in pleasing proportions that will disappear swiftly, especially following childbirth. A classic frame of proportionate, symmetric bone structure is an essential component of lasting sexual attractiveness.
Observe the symmetry of her frame. Collarbones that are off alignment will lead to poor posture and undignified appearance over the years. Heavy finger bones will turn those soft hands into thick paws. Protruding pelvic wings will evolve into a padded, broad mass that waddles from place to place in later years. A short rib cage will lead to an apple-shaped silhouette, especially as time works its way on her.
The very first place to look when assessing the frame of the female is the ankles, followed by the wrists and finger bones. Seek slender delicacy. Then the length of the rib cage and its width in proportion to the pelvis and the comparative lengths of the femur and tibia. The proportions of the waist, the symmetry of the facial bones and the dynamism of these features will become more prominent over time.
Superior and lasting beauty is present through strong genetic fundamentals of flawless, graceful and delicate bone structure. Ensure that without makeup and her hair pulled tightly back, that her face retains the essential elements of beauty.
Hide: It is not skin, it is hide. Inspect for smoothness, quality, texture and shine.
Exposure to sun and wind and chemicals will inexorably alter that hide. A predisposition to freckles will turn those lovely breasts into a rough and weathered leather stretched over the inevitable sagging of time. Skin should be smooth, finely granulated, even in color and texture. Any flaws will not merely grow, but multiply until her hide is an inevitable collection of them.
Peripherals: Teeth, hair and eyes are the third crucial components of beauty. Teeth, fortunately, can be corrected even in their most unappealing natural state. The advancement of dental and orthodontic medicine means that even the most hideous maw can be transformed into porcelain perfection, if disposable funds are available to finance it.
Similarly the health of hair can be increased to a degree, but be aware of thinning hair at an early age. A comb-over in a man is unattractive; in a woman it is pitiable.
Eyes should be evenly set, and shaped with feline allure.
Be acutely aware that teeth, hair and eyes are strongly transmitted through genetics and your offspring will display any defects that you observe, possibly to a far more prominent and potentially disturbing degree.
Examples: View the appearance of Bo Derek, Christie Brinkley or Cindy Crawford for excellent displays of classic bone structure and symmetry that withstands the passing of years and retains an alluring look.
By contrast, observe the aging process of famous beauties whose attractiveness was merely the temporary arrangement of muscle and adipose. Rose McGowan is on the other side of the spectrum. The pleasing appearance of her surface tissue has given way to an inexorable slide into doughy mediocrity, accelerated by poor care.
Remember: “Cute” is fleeting and transient. Beauty is timeless.
Intelligence and education in compatible depth.
Boredom is an infectious destroyer of interest. It is imperative that your future wife have an intelligence and education that are compatible with your own. This is a subtle requirement, for I do not say that equal intelligence and education are necessary. They are not.
The key is compatibility. And compatibility is entirely subjective, varying from couple to couple, and the preferences for intelligence and education will be vastly different from one man to another. One man may demand intelligence and education equal to his own, and have no patience for a slow woman or one who is lacking expertise and knowledge in his field. Another may be happiest with a simple woman of no imagination, who is content to fill her days with housework and her mind with televised pablum in the evening.
On the opposite end of the spectrum from the dull and the uninteresting is the sapiosexual. Sexually excited by the intelligence of their partner, the sapiosexual requires a matching mind of equal brilliance to keep pace with their deep and rapid mental processing. Secondarily, the sapiosexual takes pleasure in depth of their partner’s knowledge base for it demonstrates not merely intellectual capacity but also its utilitarian deployment and achievement.
The calculation of wife value with respect to her compatibility of intelligence and education is both simple and flexible. The innate intelligence of another human being is rather readily perceived, even by the less gifted members of our species. And education is easily increased through a modicum of effort. It is also a lifelong process that can be shared with a spouse and enjoyed as a method of bonding and growing in tandem.
The Dark Triad Man seeks complementary intelligence and education for a worthy mate.
You will, by the time you are close to a point of decision on marriage with a woman, be aware of her intelligence or the lack of it. Lack of intelligence in an individual is not an indication of moral failure on their part. It is, however, a hereditarily transmitted capacity and your children will forever be limited or advanced by the intelligence your partner brings to the genetic table.
In addition to this consideration of intelligence as a genetic feature is the willingness of your potential wife to learn. A hunger to learn, a deep respect for the process of learning and a clear joy and savoring of the act of learning itself are signs of the ability to grow as a human being. It is a terrible thing to outgrow your partner and in the realm of intelligence and education it is a frustrating incompatibility.
Your assessment: Consider the disparity of intelligence between yourself and the woman at hand. Does this disparity frustrate you? Are you impatient with her speed of processing, and is there any contempt or disparagement in the farthest corner of your mind towards a perceived mental incapacity? Those are a warning signals of huge incompatibility, for that frustration and impatience will become resentment and dislike both swiftly and inexorably. More than willing to learn, is she interested in learning? Are curiosity and imagination features of her personality and character, or does she reject new information and resort to the maddening idiocy of prattled dogma?
Within the answers you will determine your findings of compatibility and the “rightness” of her as a wife. The purpose of a lifetime pair bond is to increase joy and companionship with delighted interest and excited discovery. The absence of these aspects in the relationship will inevitably lead to a diffusing, deadening and distressing sense of boredom, disinterest and discarding of her.
To proceed with marriage in the absence of true compatibility in the realms of intelligence and education is an exercise in cruelty, for it brings to the enormous undertaking of the marital contract a predetermined outcome of failure, and that failure unperceived by the less-equipped party in the relationship. That is gratuitous, and sadistic, and should not be engaged in.
A bright woman, eager to learn, is a person with whom you are able to bond intellectually and grow in knowledge together over a lifetime.
The Dark Triad Man does not waste his time on toying with the unintelligent.
Choose wisely in your selection of partner, and in the success of that choice you will walk allied through the dark world.
How hard and often she has been ridden in the past.
The principle of hypergamy often drives, to the dissolution of the female, an unattractive carousel process of bedding male after male while in her attractive young adulthood and her sexual glow is at its prime. This does wonders for her self-esteem and sexual experience but detracts from her market worth and severely degrades the calculation of her wife value.
A female who has been ridden hard and put away wet over and over is not a suitable candidate for a lifetime pair bond and a permanent, legally enforceable marital contract.
Rapacious sexual drive in the female is an exhilarating and wonderful thing.
The Dark Triad Man values a stunning beauty who matches his sexual drive with equal ferocity.
In the female, the glistening hunger for penetration must be tempered by rare and selective pairing rather than eager and widespread rutting.
When thoughtlessly plundered by hordes of eager men her natural sexual drive becomes a stagnation of the waters of value, a cheapening of the spirit of bonding and she decomposes into a fetid broth of the accumulated DNA which has been pounded into her by a train of increasingly cheap and degrading liaisons.
You must assess her sexual past with an eye to permanent acceptance of it within the marriage and a realization that her attitude towards partner count will be carried over into her valuation of the intimate relationship with you. Where there is careless, indiscriminate and repeated spreading of her legs there will be uncaring, disrespectful and disengaged sexual mechanics instead of an intimate, emotional and bonding experience of exclusivity.
Partner count: This is a simple yet crucial calculation of her wife value. If she has had very few lovers, all within the context of committed relationships with men of value, her worth remains present. Celibate virginity until marriage is wonderful but unlikely in today’s context of female emancipation and suffrage.
Contemplate the number. Consider the context. Estimate the value of the men in question, and whether you can be content with knowing they have been there before and you are taking their leavings. It is normal for a human being to engage in sexual activity. It is abnormal and unhealthy for a woman to casually and with inconsequential attitude accept the sexual demands of a growing multitude of men.
Healthy and constrained sexual experience is a critical component of wife value.
The Dark Triad Man does not respect a trollop with a carousel train of lovers.
You must understand the links between exclusivity, rarity and carefulness. This is especially crucial to the sexual and psychic health of the female.
Do not marry a slut.
Her adherence to traditional gender roles.
Committed feminists are nearly universally unhappy, bitter and complaining whiners who refuse to accept the reality of the dark world and insist on subservient behavioral and intellectual conformity with their silly and obnoxious ideology.
The dark world does not care about ideology. It is what it is. Refusal to accept it does not change it, reduce its universal power or modify the terms of existence. Men and women are different. They are different by design and by evolution, in behavior and in power, in wiring and in the expression of emotional and psychic struggle.
This is complementary and not oppositional.
It is also uncomplicated and simple.
The Dark Triad Man does not waste his time with the miserable bully.
Do not waste yours with a woman who values her frustrated and resentful illusions more than she values a healthy and successful partnership between the masculine and the feminine, between the power of manhood and the sanctuary of the woman. Avoid at all costs the attachment of your name and supporting resources and time and vision to a person who will refuse, denigrate, waste and deny your male power.
Traditional gender roles are acutely important for complementary and high performance marriages.
Investigate deeply: Inquire of her beliefs of the male and female relationship. Draw out her beliefs on the natural role of leaders and followers in a marriage. Uncover her expectations of subservience to her ideologies and gauge the attachment she holds to incompatible and foolish illusions. Identify the likelihood of her transformation of your relationship and marriage into endless political arguments over the primacy of your manhood.
Do not place weight on a foolish expectation that you have the ability to transform her from a snapping, beastly and argumentative ideologist into a receptive, loving and embracing woman who validates and sustains you instead of belittling and disgracing.
The despising of male power, natural manhood and inherent masculinity will be carried over into your children and your sons will be crippled and gutted from their early days onward by the irresponsible and crushing nastiness of the feminist.
The Dark Triad Man does not engage or absorb the snarls of the bitter.
Do not become a useless orbiting trinket around a ceaselessly unpleasant feminist ego.
Her satisfaction and delight with the same joys in life.
This is vastly important and cannot be overstated. Beauty inevitably fades, work often gives way to retirement and children grow up and leave.
Without the entwining pleasure of shared experiences of mutual and joyful satisfaction there will be a growing disinterest, relational detachment and the creation of separate lives which result in an empty marriage.
It may seem trivial to place such weight on things as small and external to the relationship as taste in music, preference for foods, styles of clothing and preferred activities. None of those things are typically the initial source of attraction to a female, which invariably is based on her presented sexual market value and the subsequent engagement of her personality.
Yet the purpose of a marriage is to be partnered, rather than alone.
In the shared pleasure of music genres is the opening of doors to much more powerful experiences of that which moves the spirit. From listening to the same radio station you move to the grand and thunderous power of the concert. From the delight in small flavors comes the experience of dining together in the most exclusive restaurants in the world. From the same tastes in style and decor you establish the springboard to exultant and absorbing time in the most perfect environments imaginable.
Within those shared delights and mutually desired joys is found the feeling and gut-level sense of “rightness” for each other, and the ability to take those experiences over and over to higher levels of happy partner satisfaction.
The deep appreciation and elevation of spirit from these transcendent experiences is not undergone alone. It means the same treasured lessons, learned together. It means the cultivation of the “us” into a thing of beauty and power over time.
The Dark Triad Man ensures his life is filled with experiences of beauty and power.
You must take steps to fulfill the demand that your own life be awash with this kind of expansion from shared interest into shared experience, combined transcendence and then sweet and conjoined memory.
Therein is the joy of the journey together.
Experiment firmly: Take steps to ensure she is pushed out of the realm of experiential comfort and into the uncertain novelty of the strange. Eat different and unusual foods. Take an interest or a passion one step further with her. Uncover any lack of willingness to expand her horizons, complaining discomfort with the unfamiliar or a contemptuous refusal of the different.
Within that complacent calcification of self is the death of future happiness and joy.
You cannot assume that over time her interest in new things and new experiences will develop. You must assume that, as with all humans, the familiar eventually becomes boring and ultimately runs stale if there is no growth, no expansion, no broadening of the potentials that exist in the smaller things of life.
A woman who is uninterested in new foods, in new experiences, or in the sharing of challenging and exciting activities is a woman of insufficient wife value who will become a deadened, uninteresting and saddening weight on your happiness, your outcomes and your life.
The Dark Triad Man does not shoulder sad and unnecessary weights.
Do not tie yourself with the awesome bonds of matrimony to a woman who is guaranteed to bore, disgust and disappoint you. You will regret the decision and be forced to live with that regret for ever.
Her respect for money and the accumulation of wealth.
A woman who spends every penny you have and drives you into debt to satisfy her impulses is a terrible and destructive creature. It bespeaks a lack of appreciation for effort, of a failure to understand value, and a corrupted sense of balance that can destroy your throne from within.
Wealth is necessary for power in the dark world. The poor are powerless unless they are a mob, and a mob is destructive and consumes wealth with riots and devastation. A woman who is a profligate spender has negative wife value as she will piss through every hard-earned dollar you deliver and demand more with unending greed.
A successful marriage is also a business. The business of the marriage is the accumulation of assets and profit over a shared lifetime.
A woman with no respect for the value of money or the critical bedrock of wealth cultivation is a drain and not a profit; a thief and not a partner; an entitled child and not a producing adult.
The Dark Triad Man does not do business with spoiled, entitled children.
You must never partner with a woman for whom wealth is a careless stream of pouring gold that she has no hand in earning and preserving. You must absolutely be adamant on sincerely held and jointly shared financial goals or your assets and property will never move beyond the mediocre or the desperate.
Ensure that your calculation of her wife value is in large part founded on this determination of her monetary discipline and her inherent, deeply held respect for the value and power of money.
Test her discipline well: Observe her attitude to credit. Her willingness to rack up debt is the same undisciplined mess she will create of your own efforts to build a respectable and expanding net worth. By the time you are contemplating a marriage proposal you will have an informed assessment of her financial situation. Be wary of gaps in sensible money management. Be disturbed by callous disregard for savings. Consider her lack of interest in the determined cultivation of investments to be a deal breaker.
Without a devotion to investments on her part you will have none in the marriage.
Without adult behavior from her in the financial realm you will be stuck with a gratuitous and wasteful child.
Her lack of abhorrence of debt will ensure that you live a life of destitute and degrading poverty.
The Dark Triad Man respects wealth and assiduously cultivates it.
No female is worth a meager life of unnecessary financial worry, desperation and terror.
Her loyalty and fidelity to the marriage contract.
The romantic vision of marriage is often permitted to inflate beyond rational perception by the ease of divorce and the lack of serious social consequences for the abandonment or betrayal of the marriage contract. Having an unhampered exit often means that marriage is entered into with an expectation of leaving if circumstances are frustrating or the fantastic balloon of romance is punctured.
A lifetime pair bond will not take place where the relationship and the legal contract are viewed as merely tools for personal satisfaction and pleasure rather than a deep and fundamental redirection of vision and purpose. It is properly the transformation of a sole proprietorship into a joint venture. That requires that both parties have a clear and compelling joint vision and a strong and devoted adherence to its success. It also requires an acknowledgment of the reality of the dark world and a realistic expectation that serious, shattering and potentially tragic impacts upon the relationship will take place.
The resiliency and survival of your marriage will depend in large part on her loyalty to you and her fidelity to the marriage contract. Your calculation of her wife value must take into account examples of shifting faithlessness; of callous regard for attachment; and of lack restraint towards competing impulses that threaten the sanctity of the marriage.
A faithless, disloyal and selfish woman will not maintain fidelity or place the marriage higher than herself. She will abandon commitment when dissatisfaction reaches challenging levels.
The Dark Triad Man assesses the character of a woman without romantic bias.
Her professed values and her stated beliefs are important to consider and reflect dispassionately upon. Her actions and behaviors indicative of trustworthy character or transient, unreal commitment must be contrasted with those words and weighed.
In general the more entitled a woman feels the less regard she will have for boundaries and commitments. The propositions of romance, sexual engagement and lustful pursuit that a woman encounters are far more common than most men realize. As a woman becomes more attractive these offers from available males become an expectation and then an entitlement. A lovely woman is bombarded with suitors; a stunningly beautiful woman typically finds that it never stops coming.
This can create an unhealthy sense of entitlement and an unconscious insistence on fawning approval and social validation. Often it is not the actual exercise of an option that a woman desires, but the existence of the choice itself. When the contract of marriage shuts the door to that power of choice the result can be an unpleasant rebellion in the female.
The test: There is no preselective, prophylactic test ahead of time for the fidelity of a woman.
The imperative of hypergamy creates enormous risk in any attempt to do so. Consequently while the words and actions of a prospective wife can and must be compared and considered, the true test of fidelity and loyalty can only appear when the dark world finally brings it, as it inevitably will, to the doorstep of the marriage and knocks.
An important reminder is relevant before we continue together on how to calculate her wife value in the realms of both marital fidelity and loyalty to the lifetime pair bond you are considering to propose.
I offer ruthless mentoring for a dark world. Ruthless is defined as:
…having or showing no pity or compassion for others.
I do not mentor with compassionate love. I am not your parent. I have no sorrowful interest in your tale of woe. I do not distribute pity. I mentor ruthlessly and with brutal honesty because that is the only way to effectively teach you the realities of the dark world.
The brutally honest truth is that the fidelity of your wife and her loyalty to the marriage cannot be known until the ultimate test comes and she is directly faced with that decision. You have no choice in the dark world but to rely on a single, powerful and terrifying pillar:
Trust means the complete acceptance of risk. Risk, accepted, means exposure. Exposure, maintained, creates vulnerability and by placing trust in a woman you are willingly and openly laying bare your heart and mind and your belief and faith in your world to savage destruction should the whim of a woman determine that it is in her interests to pleasure herself despite the cost to you.
But trust is what makes a marriage. There is not a way around this.
The only way to the other side, is directly through the heart.
The Dark Triad Man does not fear the dark world.
Denying the dark world has no effect on its remorseless and inexorable reality. Fearing the demons of the dark world does not provide safety from them. Hesitant and tentative probing into the dark world is not a substitute for striding with power and strength into the heart of the life within.
Her professional competence and work ethic.
A woman who does not possess a strong work ethic and who does not equally insist on professional competence will inevitably become a dangerous and slothful drag on your relationship, your wealth, your property and your goals.
Possession of a strong work ethic means that she does not slide into lazy and soporific disgrace. It means that whether she works at outside employment or spends her productive hours as the builder and caretaker of your house and children she will insist on the completion of tasks, the quality of that completion, and on the correct and comprehensive establishment of the hearth and home your family inhabits.
The Dark Triad Man does not pair bond with a slothful, useless sponge.
As a man you have a vision, a mission and goals. You have challenging and difficult tasks to achieve those goals, succeed in your mission and realize your vision in the dark world. With a spouse who embodies a strong work ethic and an insistence on accurate competence you have a partner who will help you push.
It is that simple.
There is no such thing as a free ride.
If your wife is not your working partner she is a parasite and a consuming black hole of waste. Her ability to remain focused on the prize, to push and push and exhaust herself with effort, to hold fast to a vision and deploy the utmost of her capacities in the realization of that vision is an irreplaceable fountain of power for you both.
Without these qualities you will be entering into a lifetime contract with nothing more than a spoiled teenager who refuses to get a job and pull her own weight in a legal partnership that is incredibly expensive, difficult and time-consuming to dissolve.
Determine her industry: Look for wasteful holes in her time, past and present. Observe the quality of her attention to detail as she embarks on the completion of a task. Assess the thoroughness of her efforts and her ability to surmount challenges with effort, perseverance, consistency and sweat.
This will be most powerfully revealed in her care of her children and if her work ethic and professional competence are lacking you will find her to be an inattentive, disengaged and uncaring mother and your children will be unbathed, unclean, inappropriately dressed and badly raised both in practice and by example.
And you will realize this irreversible damage too late.
Your relationship and marriage will also suffer greatly.
Marriage is hard work. That is a well known expression yet the deep and vastly imperative truth of it is often misunderstood. It requires ceaseless work. It requires challenging compromises and unending effort to advance those compromises despite any lingering personal resentments. It is exhausting, infuriating, unreasonable yet acutely rewarding work.
If she does not apply herself with industrious determination now, she will not do so for your marriage when the chips are down, the resentment is palpable, and the work to restore harmony in your home seems insurmountable.
When you calculate her wife value you must not fail to determine her ability and willingness to work hard, work endlessly, and work with extreme attention to the last remaining detail of a task.
The Dark Triad Man expects no less of his woman than himself.
Do not accept sloth, laziness, incompetence or carelessness in a potential wife.
Her social grace and attractiveness.
It is always a disturbing and repulsive sight to look across a dining environment and spot a lovely, gorgeous creature with shining hair, beautiful eyes, a lithe, lissome figure and a wide open mouth mashing and slopping its food as if it were a drunken cow feeding from a churning ocean of bubbling sludge.
It is an excruciating and embarrassing experience to bring a woman to a formal social event with prominent and respected persons of culture and for your woman to manspread and yack and yammer with atrocious grammar and discomfit the gathering with her flailing, uncultured body language and speech.
Your calculation of her wife value must include her ability to blend with grace into all potential environments in which you plan to achieve. A pig in a gorgeous evening gown is still a ridiculous and uncomfortable animal. A classy, beautiful woman in a trashy cutoffs and a wet tee shirt is still an admirable, captivating creature.
You will be limited by your wife to the extent she cannot seamlessly move in different and disparate social circles with both ease and ability.
The Dark Triad Man moves fluidly and smoothly through all class environments.
His mate must possess the same ability to transition from refined to rough, from enhanced and sophisticated to casual and common as the situation and necessity dictate.
She must be a refined and enchanting sight in the luxury surroundings of the Royal Opera House. She should appear hotly desirable and forbiddingly strong in the road-dusty leathers of a dangerous biker bar. The ability to display an appropriate level of class and manners in concordance with the surroundings and company, is an important and difficult skill to master. Few women possess it.
Mastery of it is the sign of an extremely valuable woman.
Trial: Bring her to disparate environments where expected conduct is explicit and deviation from that conduct results in ostracism. Observe her manners at an expensive restaurant and determine if her training and instruction were insufficient. Assess if her behavior towards the lower classes is informed with rudeness or disrespect. These are signs of poor upbringing.
You will not have time to teach manners and social respect to a woman who does not possess them. It is a function of her parentage, of acceptable behavior at her childhood table, and of her practice of these skills until they are understood and deployed without confusion or mistake.
Consider well the outcome if you wed yourself to a creature with no manners, no social graces, and you are invited by the powerful and influential to attend an event where your presence will affect your career. Understand that your outcome is dependent upon the quality of woman you are accompanied by and in the more elevated arenas of wealth and success there are only rare opportunities and almost never second chances.
A woman will not rise to your level of class. She will drag you down to hers and limit you there.
The Dark Triad Man selects with a careful and prophetic eye.
Do the same when calculating the wife value of a woman.
Absence of red flags of the damaged woman.
The female who exhibits the red flags of the damaged woman is a deadly threat to your sanity, health, prosperity and outcomes. Her insinuating evil and her disruptive destruction have the potential to attack and shred your vision and life into bleeding, torn and ravaged tatters.
The prime directive of the damaged woman is to feed and prey upon man after man in a futile attempt to satiate the starving horrors of her internal dialogue. She engages in twisted sadism and she infects and controls with terrible effect. She is a psychic and physical parasite.
It cannot be overstated that the presence of these red flags are a deadly warning sign. The psychotic, the borderline and other cruelly destructive female archetypes are not uncommon. There is an unfortunate tendency from men in love to consider these psychologically wrecked women to be simply in need of a savior, and to expect that their love will ride to the rescue and transform the distressed damsel into a happy princess.
That is a recipe for crushing disappointment combined with immense personal pain and tragedy.
The Dark Triad Man heeds warning signs and avoids malevolent predators.
Becoming enthralled by the damaged woman is unfortunately a confusing and rapid process. Their horrid and rancid psyche is a cunning and subtle one, and their intense and shimmering personality can present as a brilliant and charismatic front.
Your selection of a woman as a lifetime pair bond must absolutely take into account both her psychological stability and her mental and emotional health. The calculation of her wife value is incomplete without a cold and rational assessment of her resiliency to trauma and of any disordered processing that takes place in her mind and heart.
Contrast: In the course of the early stages of the relationship was there a sense of plummeting into an alternate reality, rather than an expansion of satisfaction and companionship? To what extent do you make excuses for dramatic and destructive emotional scenes, rather than the calm connection of healthy adults? Do you spend time placating and avoiding conflict and discarding friendships and activities that formerly brought joy, rather than detaching with each spiraling step into miserable confusion?
You will not “heal” or “rescue” the damaged woman from the world. It is not the world that she needs rescuing from. It is from her own murderous, broken internal trauma and unless you are a seasoned and highly competent mental health professional you are unlikely to swim successfully against the storming maelstrom of rage, cruelty and bitter evil that form the core of her poisoned self.
The purpose of marriage is to legally cement a lifetime commitment to the personality a woman possesses. When you encounter the red flags of the damaged woman you must understand the huge and terrible danger to your life and sanity she represents.
The wife value of the disordered borderline is absent. Discard emotionally masturbatory fantasies of rescue.
The Dark Triad Man does not dive onto known jagged rocks of horror.
Accept the reality of unrecoverable damage and steer your ship to calmer waters.
Advice for married men applying these steps and finding poor answers.
It may be that you are reading the content here, assessing the woman you are in a relationship with, and finding that the answers are poor and that you are in the unfortunate position of being legally contracted in marriage to a woman who presents little to no future wife value to you.
It may be that you are here at Dark Triad Man and you have absorbed this content with growing unease and followed through to the realization that not only does your wife lack value but she is also a damaged animal, sprouting the red flags of disorder and danger, and you are frantic with the understanding that comes too late and only after the investments of breeding and raising children and expending decades of your life into a pit of waste.
Life is hard. The dark world is not your friend, and there has never been a guarantee of success and happiness to anyone. And even the most magically perfect life can be radically and unfairly shattered by the random detonation of sudden tragedy.
It is what it is. If you recognize that you are improperly married and that your wife has insufficient future value, you must manfully consider your alternatives and make a decision and move forward with it. There may be opportunities for her to adapt to new interests, to become better educated, to improve her work ethic or manage an addiction or take better care of her appearance and health.
It is typically the case that vast improvements in a person’s settled behavior, thinking and habits can be effected through conscious and deliberate effort to embrace and foster permanent change. That is not easy, but it is not impossible.
If that is the situation in which you find your marriage, you cannot expect such improvement to take place as the result of negative condemnation and bullying. Acceptance of a negative state does not mean approval of it. Compassionate support to a struggling spouse is one of the standing obligations of the marital joining.
In situations where you fear or realize that you are joined to a borderline or psychotic damaged woman, your options are somewhat limited and almost certainly to be cruelly and harshly unpleasant, painful and frustrating regardless of whether you stay or leave the marriage.
The most painful aspect is the ambivalent, anxious indecision that threatens to drown you in a sea of worry and incessant internal dialogue. The solution is to decide, and own that decision, even if it is only for one day at a time.
Ultimately you must find your own answer, and make your own decision.
Always apply these ways to calculate her wife value.
The process of falling in love is enthralling. The consideration of marriage is terrifying and exciting. The steps of consideration must include these calculations of her wife value if you are to select with care, and choose with discrimination, the partner with whom you expect and contract to spend the remainder of your days on earth.
You will not find a woman who excels with superb and matchless performance in each of these ten realms of value calculation. That is a unicorn, and there are no unicorns. But there are nonetheless stunning women of breathtaking, timeless beauty who combine a strong work ethic and brilliant intelligence with responsible money management, well-bred graceful manners and a strong sense of fidelity and sexual self-respect.
But there are always trade-offs. And there are always compromises. These ways to determine the calculations of her wife value are not binary, pass/fail tests but rather exercises in spectrum analysis.
And women, assuredly, are an amalgamation of infinite shades of gray. It is why they are maddening, intoxicating, alluring, unreasonable, infuriating and irreplaceable. It is why they drive men crazy, and why they are essential.
I tell you with brutal honesty that while it is difficult and challenging and rare to find a woman who meets the criteria of stellar wife value, there are few things as satisfying as a warm and complementary woman to share your life with.
Get yours. With firm, calculated decision.
And sit on matching thrones.
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