3 Red Flags Of The Damaged Woman

3 Red Flags Of The Damaged Woman

In Knowledge Base, Level I by Ivan Throne1 Comment

Never ignore the 3 red flags of the damaged woman.

We have all run into them. To their great sorrow, not all men who encounter the damaged woman can recognize the red flags she hoists and flutters overhead as she prepares to feast on men who are unprepared.

These men do not recognize the threat until it is far too late. Their recognition often comes with the sad loss of a marriage, their children taken by the courts, their fortunes unfairly divided and their priceless reputation and even freedom taken from them forever.

You can build another fortune or marry another woman.

You cannot restore your name, the stolen years behind bars, or worst of all the degraded love and respect of the children you have brought into the world.

Young men in particular must recognize the red flags of the damaged woman and pay heed to them. They are called red flags because they are a grim and frantic alert of your impending destruction. A red flag flown above a ship means that no quarter will be given in battle.

The destruction she brings may be years in the making. The groundwork of a man’s destruction may be laid slowly, brick by brick, over years and years. But the damage when it comes is usually catastrophic and unrelentingly painful.

It can also usually be avoided.

The Dark Triad Man pays heed to these red flags of the damaged woman and he ensures that he takes appropriate and immediate action to secure himself, his name, his freedom, his property and his children, if he has them, from the depredations of the crazy and the sick.


Understand the way of living free from damaged women.

The way is to prepare for risk. The way is to know risk, to identify it, and to respond to it with ruthless, seamless clarity of performance.

It is with brutal honesty that I tell you that these red flags of the damaged woman are a clanging warning of a looming threat of emotional savagery, horrific assaults upon your sanity and self-respect and the deliberate destruction of your manhood and happiness and hope.

You will learn to recognize the red flags of the damaged woman when they flap over the attractive female bent on not just your seduction, but your hidden and terrible destruction.

The damaged woman is an elemental figure of the dark world. She is a predator, who seeks not to heal but to ravage. She seeks not your rescue of her but to prey upon you and consume you the way a hyena consumes a crippled antelope. Cruelly, remorselessly, viciously and without stopping until there is nothing left.

If you are a young man starting out in the world and you are happily splashing in the dating pool, be aware.

You are not in an inflatable safe zone with clean, temperate water. You are in the surf of the dark world, where leviathans lurk in the depths and beasts of strange and terrible purpose await the misstep of the unwary. Pay attention to these red flags of the damaged woman.

If you are a mature man with resources and property and wealth and position, guard yourself.

You are not secure and set and ready to play at leisure in the dating world and select casually from the young women seeking what you have to offer. You are sailing the deeps of the dark world, where the siren song of the blood-lipped mermaid distracts you from the insane shine of murder in her surfacing eyes.

If you are a married man and you have been ignoring the red flags then you may recognize them with growing terror as you read this.

You will have difficult choices to make. You may choose to stay or you may choose to leave. You may be responsible for the damage underneath her insanity or you may be an innocent victim who realizes too late that the pendulum swings closer and closer with each unforgiving arc.

We’ll talk about each situation at the end of this post.

Without further commentary, we will now review these terrible red flags.


The first red flag of the damaged woman is her crazy speed.

In the real world the development of a relationship and trust requires two things. It requires shared experiences and it requires that those shared experiences take place over time. Without that ingredient of time it is not a relationship.

Lust can be instantaneous. Admiration can be instantaneous. Laughter usually is instantaneous and so are charm and first impressions and even the hot, magical thrashing that typifies the first night of mating.

But real relationships take time. That is the rule.

There are no exceptions to that rule in the dark world.

When a woman says “we have something magically inevitable” or that “our love is at first sight” or makes other statements that assume your agreement with the impossible, she is predicating the result on an unstable and damaged aspect of herself.

Love takes time to develop. It exists, and it is a light in the dark world.

It brightens over time and can fill your universe with contentment and joy.  But it doesn’t flip on like a Hollywood searchlight.

Use your head. Maintain your awareness. Rely on the reality of the world, not on what you wish the world was.

If she is moving way too fast – “in a relationship” on Facebook and wanting to introduce you to her children and talking about “our love” and all of this in the first few weeks – you are correct to question the sanity of it.

When it happens way too fast and it feels like a sale you’re not ready for but you notice the saleswoman is already writing herself a check for the new purchase off your checkbook which she suddenly has taken upon herself to hold – you are seeing a red flag.

Flapping in the bloody wind.


Step back.

Embrace the reality of the dark world and know that reality does not change. There is always a reason for a rushed sale. And it is never in your interests to complete that sale under the pressure of an external power.

The Dark Triad Man has an internal locus of control, and does not succumb to the pressure of the hard sale.

Especially when it’s a red flag sale at Damaged Woman Discounts.

He invests in specific, actionable sources of personal power.


The second red flag of the damaged woman is her tale of sadism.

The damaged woman will often out herself by telling a proud tale of sadism. It may be a story of revenge against a former partner in an intimate relationship or it may be a story of how she played a cruel, evil trick on a college roommate.

The specifics of the story do not matter.

Any tale of delighted sadism is the sign of a sick and disordered mind.

Any tale of delighted sadism told by a woman is a broadcast warning that she is damaged and should be avoided by any man cognizant of his value, of the senselessness of putting his value at risk, and the danger of becoming her next victim.

The damaged woman will spin a tale of horrific cruelty, of disgusting selfishness, of grinning insanity and appalling nastiness and expect you to be impressed with all of those things. Her expectation of impressing you is one of the first telltale ripples of the red banner of danger.

It is important upon recognizing this particular flag to remain calm and not display distaste, disgust or distress. To do so risks triggering the venomous bite of this particular snake, and it is not an injury or attention you wish to attract.

Maintain composure.

Do not display reaction.

Communicate noncommittal observations, and make your exit. Do not engage with the sadistic damaged woman. You will not change her methodology, you will not heal her spirit, and if you are hearing the story of her past atrocity you are being prepared for the block yourself.

Most of all, do not buy into the story that the victim of her past sadism was deserving of it for causing her pain. Revenge is not vengeance. Revenge is gratuitous, selfish and abhorrent behavior and when a woman proudly proclaims her abhorrent acts you can be certain that she will do it again. You are hearing the story as an involuntary warning from a sick and deranged individual.

The Dark Triad Man does not offer himself for execution.

He is not a masochist.

When you are aware of pride in sadism from the female, recognize the red flag of a damaged woman and fortify yourself with distance, detachment and the imperative of self-preservation. Survival is the first of The Nine Laws and you will not dance with violation of it.

Especially with a poisonous serpent in lipstick.


The third red flag of the damaged woman is her invasive control.

Bit by bit, the damaged and deranged woman will assuage her abandonment fears by insidiously infecting your life and your time with her control. Activities that you once enjoyed will see her start to participate, then insist on her presence, then rage if you attend without her. Eventually you will be forbidden to go at all, as it will be castigated as full of people who are for one reason or another “taking you away from her” and they will disappear from your time and presence.

Your relationships with your family will be subtly invaded by artificially constructed closeness, and she will portray herself as not your partner but your caretaker. Bit by bit the relationship between you and your loved ones will become one of weak responses to their concern for you, driven by the stories she will infect them with, until you are too exhausted to correct them and it is easier to simply go along with the narrative that is promoted.

The route of control is subtle and the damaged woman is an expert at walking that dark pathway.

I use the word insidious. That word is accurate.

Trapped by your own inclination to offer the benefit of the doubt and your trust in the goodwill of human beings, you will be hobbled and led to slaughter before you are aware that the knife is drawn and meant for you.

You will wake up and realize that your friends are gone and you have no support.

You will reel in shock at the realization that your family has distanced from you.

If you are very unfortunate – because you have ignored this red flag even as it slapped limp and bloody against your face – your money and your property will no longer be your own to claim when you leave.

The most dangerous red flag of the damaged woman is this specific, entwining, deadly envelopment of you and your sanity and your heart.

You will be bombed with guilt and shame for daring to make efforts towards freedom.

You will be threatened with disastrous consequences if you show initiative.

Attempting to restore your life will provoke murderous attack.

This particular red flag of the damaged woman is the most challenging to spot, for it is rarely raised until she has conquered the fortress of your life, and you have surrendered its control to her savage, graceful invasion.

You must forestall this control at the very outset.

Do not succumb to doubt and disparagement injected into your friendships. Do not agree to yield your relationships with your family. Do not hand over control of your property and assets. Maintain your autonomy.

Remember that the sixth of The Nine Laws of the Dark Triad Man is freedom.

You are responsible for your own freedom.

You are responsible for recognizing when it is under attack.

You are responsible for preserving it.

The Dark Triad Man abhors slavery and never accepts it.

Especially under a crazy, sadistic mistress.


Pay attention to what I tell you today.

I speak with brutal honesty because there is no other way to communicate the truth of the red flags of the damaged woman. I do not refer to her as “damaged” because she is hurt. I use the word “damaged” in the way that men will refer to damaged goods.

People can be hurt. Women especially react to hurt in ways that may not seem rational to the male. That is normal and not cause for automatic assumption that she is damaged goods.

There is a universe of identifiable difference between a person who is hurt, and lashing out in pain – and a person who enters into encounters with evil purpose, and who drives engagements toward cruel and sadistic dominance.

I mentioned before that you may be reading this content on the other side of a marriage to a damaged woman. That is a hard, terrible place to be and there is no question that if such is your situation you are in deep, existential danger and you must face the truths of that situation with a grim and terrible examination of the reality of your circumstances.

The reality may be that you created this damage yourself. Perhaps you were a drunkard or an abusive mate or an addict of one kind or another. Any human being can crack under sufficient pressure. If you have brought this situation upon yourself, you must consider whether it exists because of ongoing issues you create and whether it is a permanent damage that cannot be healed through changes in your own behavior.

That happens. Being sucked into the vortex of the psychotic deranged woman is another possibility, and you may simply have been unaware and unprepared and unintelligent about your estimation of risks and rewards where your female partner is concerned.

Nevertheless, you are where you are.

You will need to make a decision on two things:


1. Is the situation repairable?

2. Do you wish to stay in the marriage?


When you have final answers to those questions you will know how to proceed.

But whether you stay or go, heal or abandon, there is one thing you must keep permanently in mind and maintain with a deep and persevering focus.

The Dark Triad Man does not accept sadism.

You will not engage in sadism. You will not accept sadism.

You will, however, restore your life. You only have one. And it is too short to spend in the bath of a damaged woman’s sadism.

Recognize the red flags of murderous, butchered psyches.

Don’t bleed to death for her crazy purpose.

Be a man. Shrug off the sadistic chains.

Seize your personal dignity.

And survive.


There is a way out for men who need it.

My son was kidnapped by a damaged woman. I hired a bounty hunter to track him down and bring him home.

I fought off another damaged woman who stalked my children at elementary school, taking creepy pictures. She smashed her way through a locked door into my apartment and stalked my then-girlfriend (now my wife of many years).

My friend, I’ve been there.

I’m no stranger to this kind of crazy.

I’m here to tell you that if you – or a brother – are dealing with this monstrous type of sucking insanity, you need someone to throw you a rope of power.

There are countless fountains of advice, direction and recommendation across social media and other sources that discuss abusive intimate relationships. Nearly all of them are geared to women.

Domestic abuse shelters are available to women, with or without children. Men find themselves abandoned, humiliated, mocked and dismissed. And all too often their abuser is supported, equipped and backed up by a legal system far too susceptible to manipulation by the sadistic.

Where are men to turn? What steps can they take?

How can they extricate themselves from a toxic, murderously abusive relationship without losing everything in the process, or even worse – being reeled back in and subjected to even more abuse for daring to betray the dominance of crazy?

Listen to my story. Hear my voice and judge my words directly.

And if you realize upon reading this that you are indeed trapped, get to work.

Discover the Escape Plan from the Damaged Woman.


Lock and load your future.

Vision, planning and competence are fearsome ammunition.

Subscribe today to my writing and work.

I am Ivan Throne. I am the Dark Triad Man.

I will teach you how to rip the gag from your mouth and the shackles of evil enthralling horror from your heart, your mind and your action.

I will teach you to blow the locks off the doors to your freedom.

Get ready to utterly transform your life and your future.

Abandon hesitancy and seize your birthright of manhood and dignity.

The brotherhood is here, and prepares your welcome.


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About the Author
Ivan Throne

Ivan Throne

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IVAN THRONE, bestselling author of The Nine Laws, is an international speaker and teacher. His vivid lessons and ruthless mentoring for the hard and often cruel demands of our pitiless high performance world have helped millions of people across social media deeply connect with radical, authentic success to the joys of partners, lovers, colleagues and clients.

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